ADHD Insights for Men: Counsellor-Recommended Reads to Transform Your Life
Living with ADHD is like having constantly changing weather conditions in your head..
One moment, you’re super focused. Then the next, you can't concentrate at all.
It’s frustrating and demotivating, like trying to complete a puzzle that you know is missing pieces or trying to run a marathon with your shoelaces tied together.
It leaves you with this constant sense of always being behind.
For many men, living with ADHD presents challenges at work, at home, and in relationships.
People expect you to be reliable, efficient, and supportive.
But when your brain feels like a tangled mess, it can be hard to meet those expectations.
While ADHD isn’t something that can be “cured”, the good news is that it can be managed.
What helped me as a person with ADHD, particularly one that was diagnosed later in life, was learning about the condition.
Books are a great resource for this. So I’m going to list the ones that I recommended to my male clients.
These books aren’t just about “treating” your ADHD, but leaning into it so that you can thrive.
1. Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté
Key Themes:
The origins of ADHD, how your environment impacts it, and emotional struggles.
Gabor Maté knows how to draw you in.
“Scattered Minds” isn’t just about ADHD - it’s about how your childhood and environment affect how ADHD shows up in your life.
Maté explains why you might always feel like you’re behind, why it seems like everyone else is in sync while you’re struggling to keep up.
Why It’s Valuable for Men:
Where other books emphasise the facts and science, Maté touches the emotional heart of the ADHD experience. The feeling that you’re not living up to expectations—yours, your family’s, society’s.
Maté takes a compassionate approach, helping men to shed the shame they carry.
This book is quite cathartic. And it is a guide towards developing a new way of relating to one's self.
2. Living Daily with Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips of the Day by Douglas Puryear
Key Themes: Daily coping strategies and reframing negative thoughts.
This book is all about practical advice.
No long explanations or theories—just straightforward tips you can use every day.
Puryear gives you a tip for each day of the year—simple things you can start doing right away.
Why It’s Valuable for Men:
Men often want something direct and easy to follow.
This book gives you that. You’ll find something to put into play immediately.
The daily structure is perfect for men who need something that’s easy to pick up and read without feeling overwhelmed.
3. Your Life Can Be Better: Using Strategies for Adult ADD/ADHD by Douglas Puryear
Key Themes:
Focus, prioritising, and taking small, practical steps to improve your life.
This follow-up book by Puryear is all about keeping things simple and practical.
It’s about breaking big challenges into smaller, more manageable parts.
Whether you need to tackle household chores, focus better at work, or just get through the day without feeling overwhelmed—this book gives you real ways to make your routine better.
Why It’s Valuable for Men:
Sometimes there’s just too much to do, and it leads to procrastination or avoidance.
Puryear’s strategies are great for those moments when you feel stuck.
They help you make small, achievable steps so you can start feeling a sense of progress, one small win at a time.
4. The Gift of Adult ADD by Lara Honos-Webb
Key Themes:
Turning ADHD into a strength, embracing creativity, and personal growth.
ADHD doesn’t just bring challenges—it can also be a gift.
“The Gift of Adult ADD” shifts the way you think about ADHD.
Honos-Webb talks about ADHD traits like creativity, energy, and adaptability as strengths instead of weaknesses.
It’s a new way to see your ADHD as something you can use to your advantage. Which is something I can personally relate to as it inspired my career change to counselling.
Why It’s Valuable for Men:
Many men with ADHD might feel broken or weak.
This book helps you see your differences as sources of strength.
It shows you that your ADHD can help you do amazing things—if you learn to work with it.
How These Books Connect and Their Benefits for Men
Each of these books offers something different.
Maté helps you understand what shapes ADHD how it impacts one’s sense of self.
Puryear gives you practical tools to use every day.
Honos-Webb helps you see ADHD in a new, positive way.
Together, they give you a balance of:
Practical Strategies: Tools to help you handle daily life better.
Deep Understanding: Insights that help you understand where your struggles come from.
Motivational Insights: Encouragement to see ADHD as something positive.
Core Messages to Take Away
1. ADHD Is Not a Limitation, but a Difference
ADHD isn’t a flaw.
It’s a different way of seeing the world.
When you stop seeing it as a limitation and start understanding it, you can use your strengths.
2. There Are Practical Tools That Work
Whether it’s making a daily routine or breaking tasks into smaller steps, these books offer real tools that make ADHD easier to manage.
The right strategies make a big difference.
3. Self-Awareness Is Key
It all starts with understanding.
The more you learn about how your mind works, the better you can manage it.
These books aren’t just about coping—they’re about thriving.
4. You’re Not Alone
One of the biggest takeaways is that you’re not alone.
Many men face the same struggles, and these books remind you that it’s okay to have challenges—and it’s okay to ask for help.
5. ADHD Comes with Unique Strengths
Creativity, energy, adaptability—these are often strengths of men with ADHD.
Honos-Webb encourages you to lean into these traits and see them as assets.
6. Small Changes Make a Big Difference
Making small changes like breaking tasks into steps or setting up routines can lead to big improvements in your life.
Start small, and those changes will add up over time.
7. Self-Compassion Is Crucial
ADHD is tough.
Some days will feel like a battle.
The key to lasting change is learning to be kind to yourself, even when things aren’t perfect.
Maté and Honos-Webb make this point clear.
Next steps, working with a Counsellor
You can also reach out to myself or the team at Strong Space Counselling. This can happen after you’ve done some reading or before you even open a book.
We understand that with so much going on, you’re not in the mind to read. And would prefer to just speak to someone who gets it.
As counsellors, we can’t formally diagnose or prescribe medication. However, we’re more than willing and able to talk to you about the impacts of ADHD on your life and discuss the steps you can take to manage it.
Thanks for reading,
Ricky
ADHD might be a part of who you are, but it doesn’t have to define your life.
At Strong Space Counselling, we help men thrive by building tools that fit their lives.
Take the first step today.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the best ADHD books for men?
The best ADHD books for men include "Scattered Minds" by Gabor Maté, "Living Daily with Adult ADD or ADHD" by Douglas Puryear, "Your Life Can Be Better" by Douglas Puryear, and "The Gift of Adult ADD" by Lara Honos-Webb.
How can I manage ADHD symptoms as an adult man?
Managing ADHD as an adult man involves using practical strategies like breaking tasks into smaller steps, setting routines, and using coping tools from ADHD-specific resources. Self-awareness and self-compassion are also key.
Are there any ADHD books recommended by counsellors?
Yes, counsellors often recommend books like "Scattered Minds" by Gabor Maté and "Your Life Can Be Better" by Douglas Puryear for men with ADHD. These books provide both practical tools and deep understanding.
What is Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté about?
"Scattered Minds" by Gabor Maté explores the origins of ADHD, how your environment affects it, and the emotional struggles that come with it. It’s a compassionate guide to understanding and healing.
How can reading help men with ADHD?
Reading can help men with ADHD by providing strategies for daily life, insights into their condition, and encouragement to reframe ADHD as a strength rather than a flaw. It’s about understanding and thriving.
What strategies do Your Life Can Be Better suggest for ADHD management?
"Your Life Can Be Better" by Douglas Puryear suggests breaking big challenges into smaller, manageable parts, setting priorities, and taking practical steps to improve daily routines and reduce overwhelm.
Is ADHD different for men and women?
Yes, ADHD can show up differently in men and women. Men often face different societal expectations and pressures, which can affect how they experience and cope with ADHD. Resources tailored for men can be particularly helpful.
Why is self-compassion important for men with ADHD?
Self-compassion is important because ADHD can be tough, and it’s easy to be hard on yourself. Learning to be kind to yourself helps reduce shame and frustration, making it easier to make positive changes.
What are the benefits of using ADHD as a strength, as discussed in The Gift of Adult ADD?
"The Gift of Adult ADD" by Lara Honos-Webb discusses how traits like creativity, energy, and adaptability can be strengths. Using ADHD as a strength helps men see their differences as valuable, not as weaknesses.
How can men incorporate practical ADHD coping tips into their daily lives?
Men can incorporate ADHD coping tips by starting with small, actionable steps, creating structured routines, and using daily tips like those in "Living Daily with Adult ADD or ADHD." Consistency is key to making these changes work.